lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
