Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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