So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't deserve a penis
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
