I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You work out of a Hotel?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
