So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize