Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
