remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize