Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize