ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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