He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
my poor anus
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
