no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
