Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
