is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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