is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
