It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize