How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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