I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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