Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
