Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
