Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
did i walk over a car last night?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
