Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Damn victory sex feels great
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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