i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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