seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
