he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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