around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
