Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
