i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
too bad you live with your parents still
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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