brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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