that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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