Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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