I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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