I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize