I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
kristin has been a bad kristin
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
