If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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