Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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