how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize