please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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