But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
