Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
