I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
