GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
