Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
