She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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