hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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