Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
my poor anus
Randomize
