Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
