There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
