in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
