she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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