Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
