Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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