Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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