so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
