I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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