playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
