The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
