"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
