i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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