Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
