Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
