Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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