Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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